To Make Me Feel Better

Apartment Update

The picture from my previous post isn't really what my apartment looked like. A few people asked me about that. Close though. My camera got trashed in the process, so I couldn't take a picture myself. I myself am fine, if not a little emotionally wrecked.

I am writing this at a library, since my home machine got destroyed in the 'ordeal'. I was able to clean it up, and get some new stuff, but it was really an epic amount of work. For the record, I haven't had a single incident since they finished the job. No creaking, no weird things falling around the apartment, no loss of power. So I guess that part is good. But...with the amount of carnage they induced, I don't know if it was worth it.

I don't know if you guys saw that Hancock movie, but that's what they made me think of. I guess they are doing the right thing...but...not the right way. Did they really have to put everything I had (including possibly myself) in danger to do this? There isn't a better process than what they have now?

Oh well. What's done is done. I'll update this blog more when I get a new PC, but even then, it can't be as exciting as what I started with.

Drama Bomb

Today, Chris Holmes and Robert "The Muscle" Srinivasiah showed up. It is worth noting that Robert isn't...big, which definitely makes his name entertaining. They were get up in an outfit not unlike what a SWAT team member would wear. Big, bulky vests, lots of pockets, boots, helmets, and goggles. No weapons that I could see, but they each had a large bag on their back which could have contained anything.

I asked them what was in the bag, and they both smirked at me, and dismissed me with a wave. They strolled around the apartment, with their now familiar Blackberries. They'd glance at each other on occasion, but didn't say a word.

Then each of them took out a handful of what appeared to be canisters, and started placing them around the apartment. I asked them what those canisters were for.

Chris: "Sir, you need not worry what they are. All you need to know is that they'll help take care of your problem."

Me: "Well, I think I have a right to know. This is my apartment, and I'm paying you for this service. Err...I will pay you. After it's done."

At this point, they looked at each other and then looked at me. They motioned me over to them.

Robert: "Hey...we're going to need you to...perhaps step outside."

Me: "Huh? Why?"

Chris: "Because we're asking you to?"

Robert: "For your safety."

Me: "What? For my safety? Wai...I want to stay. What if I stay behind the kitchen counter? Would I be safe there?"

Chris: "Do you have knives or other sharp kitchen utensils?"

Me: "Kn-knives? What? Um, yes."

Chris: "Then that isn't a good idea. Outside is better."

Me: "Wait, what. Better? How?"

Robert sighed, and nodded to Chris. They both rushed me, grabbed me, and proceeded to manhandle me toward the door. They shoved me out, patted me on the back, and then locked me out. No sooner did the door close that I began to hear unholy hell being perpetrated inside my apartment. Screaming, cursing, howling, laughing, crying, splattering, crushing, exploding. I don't know how long it all lasted, but it was only a couple minutes. At this point, I realized I had my keys on me, and let myself back into my apartment.

Destruction. Total destruction. Everything in the apartment had been torn apart. Chris and Robert sat in a far corner, hair signed, clothes torn, glasses askew. But they were both grinning. They stood up at the same time, and walked over to me.

"I see you are impressed with our work. We'll send you the bill. Enjoy your rest tonight. It will be sound!"

And with that, they strolled out.

LOUD NOISES

Two technicians from MOG arrived today at my apartment. Daniel "Red Shirt" Rohrer and Josh "The Interrogator" Schnarr. I don't really understand the nickname thing, but if helps them stop my apartment from doing ridiculous shit, then great.

Daniel told me he'd go over Will's notes and determine what sort of specter we were dealing with here. With each glance away from his Blackberry, he seemed to grow more disconcerted. By the time he had made a couple rounds about the apartment, he was sweating profusely, and breathing laboriously. I actually had to get him a glass of water to calm him down. On a funny side note, I was about to put ice in Daniel's water when Josh stopped me, and mimed a choking motion to me. Considering Daniel's state at the time, that was a prudent observation.

As Daniel attempted to catch his breath, Josh sat in a chair, and pulled out a Swisher Sweet, and seemed to relax. And then...he started talking out loud. To the ghost I guess. Err...not talking. More like...lecturing. He expounded on morality, history, obligations, etc. Any where his wandering tongue led, he followed. My guess was he was trying to give the spirit eternal rest via boredom.

Daniel finally felt good enough to tell Josh that he should give up with that business, since they were dealing with a Class 3 Phantasm. Josh immediately stood up, tossing his Swisher aside. He was peeved at this detail not being relayed to him. He pondered for a few moments, and then finally walked over to me.

"I'm sorry, but we're not going to be able to handle this now. We've been approaching this incorrectly this entire time. However, we will send more technicians, better suited for your needs, tomorrow. My apologies."

He then turned around, and issued a stern warning to the room in general. Josh warned the occupying "force" that his time was ending, and he was obliged to evacuate the premises, lest he wish to be forced out.

So...hooray. I guess.

MOG?

I got an ad post in the comments of my last post, which was pretty interesting. Considering their offer, it didn't seem too bad. And if anything, I figured it would be...entertaining. And so with that, I took up MOG on their offer to inspect my apartment for a supernatural presence.

Earlier today, one Will Ramey arrived to evaluate my place. He seemed nice enough, except for referring to himself as Will "The Brains" Ramey. Which doesn't make sense. Since he only has one brain. I think.

He poked around the apartment, taking notes on his Blackberry. He hummed and hawwed a lot, and muttered some things under his breath. I tried to ask what he was doing, but he ignored me most of the time. When he did answer me, he responded with a stream of foreign terms that did not register at all with me.

After about a half-hour, he finished, and presented me with an estimate. He broke down the costs to me, but none of them made any sense to me in particular. But he does believe that I have an issue with unknown forces. Of course, he just may want money, but at the estimate offered, and the promist of cash back, it didn't seem like a bad idea.

So I signed up. Will told me that the first agent will be showing tomorrow, which was fine by me. I left him a deposity check for the 'cleaning' and I'm not hoping for the best,

The Last Straw

Ok, I must be some sort of epic screw up, because just so many things are happening to this place since I got here, and this last incident really got to me. I was about to fire up my stove when I realized, just before I set off one of the burners, that the gas was already going.

I mean...how does that happen? Shouldn't it have made...some hissing noise? And I thought it was supposed to have an odor or something? This makes absolutely no sense. I didn't even use the gas burner since I've gotten here.

Does anyone have any ideas on what to do about my...unbelievably bad luck? It really doesn't even make sense to me. So ideas? What to do about a lemon apartment? Are there agencies for this sort of thing?

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears

So, allegedly, this apartment complex is supposed to be relatively new, but I've seen all sorts of problems already. The wind keeps forcing my windows open, and then they flap around, making noise. Stuff is constantly creaking, even though I have no idea what is making the noise, since all the furniture is new. There seem to be constant rolling blackouts. My cable box loves changing channels for no reason.

I'm going to hit up the leasing office to see if I can't get some sort of discount on my first month's rent, because this is beyond ridiculous.

For the Uneducated

I know some of you folks don't know what 'ghost riding' is, so here are some instructional videos for you:

Curse Words

I got a few emails noting that I am using much more profanity than usual in my few blog posts. I went back over them...and yep...I fucking am. I didn't realize it before, but I guess...they are just happening. Whatev. I'm a big boy now.

Chandeliers?

WTF? So...something else strange broke down in this apartment. The apartment has a dining room, with a generic chandelier light-fixture sort of thing. But...that shit just...fell down today. I got home, went in my room to change, and then I heard the loudest fucking crash I heard in my life. I ran back into the main room, and I saw my chandelier thingy just...fell straight down onto my (crappy) dining table.

What is this...War of the Roses? What a load of crap. Now I have tomorrow wasted taking care of all this shit.

Fucking Ikea

I went to Ikea to get some furniture for my new digs, and I got these stupid DVD towers that I thought were a good idea.

They seemed look a good idea, and were easy enough to put together and fill with my DVDs. But after I got back from some grocery shopping, I noticed both of the cases I built had just fallen over, throwing my shit everywhere. I have no idea how they just tipped over, since they seemed pretty sturdily attached to the wall, but I guess not.

This is going to make me enjoy my $1 ice cream cones at Ikea way less. Fuck.

LOLcatz speak for me

I tried to find home related LOLcatz, and this one seemed appropriate. So come visit me. I don't start my new job for a couple weeks, so visitors would be welcome :)

I'm Finally Here!

I finally got to my new apartment here in Santa Clara! I must admit that I am pretty excited about this. I've never really had a chance to head out West before, so this is all brand new to me. But I think moving to Silicon Valley, and the Bay Area, was a good choice, and I can really find out if I have what it takes to work in the real world.

Everyone reading this back home, make sure you take time to visit! The weather is great, and we can hit up San Francisco at any time! And by the time you guys get here, I should be fully versed in going super dummy, and ghost riding my whip (hence my blog title).